Zach Zupancic

Zach Zupancic

Senior Designer, SolidWorks addict, AutoCAD zealot, Cyclist, Shade Tree Mechanic, & moderately tall. 

Space, the final frontier. and an impossible feat to have.

Why is it that Jean Luke Picard and captain Kirk can go around space deflowering the universe with their space ship, but I have a hard time sitting on the davenport alone?

Seriously...

There has been this... on going battle to get some space, to get some breathing room. Thousands have died, hundreds injured and yet none have been missed by anyone but me. After all I was the one that hid them all. Thousands of happy moments have been killed due to me not being able to experience them because "I don't think that is supposed to be funny" or "what does that mean?" hundreds of smiles injured because I yet again have managed to fuck something up that while I was just acting like I would with my best friends. All have been hidden because I don't really tell anyone.

I have shown every bit of love, patience, compassion that a man can show a woman, and yet when I need downtime to unwind, to digest what we have been fighting about and make sure I don't go into a meltdown... it is impossible. I can’t remember the last time that I was able to go to sleep when I wanted to... I can’t remember the last time that I got a real night's sleep without getting called 46 times because "she missed me." I mean come on I was just talking/with to you an hour ago. If I am not next to her talking to her; there is drama. If I don't do things that she wants, or in the exact way that she wants; anger happens. Everything I do is wrong; whatever I say isn't ever enough...

What is a man supposed to do?

I don't know, and that space that Kirk gets to meander around in... I can’t even touch it, I could care less about the exploration bit of it, I just want to be able to have some of it so I can sit on my couch and not worry about anything... Who knows what this will lead to; all I hope is that my one night of nothing will turn out okay. And she will understand why after almost 6 months I just need 1 night to myself.