Zach Zupancic

Zach Zupancic

Senior Designer, SolidWorks addict, AutoCAD zealot, Cyclist, Shade Tree Mechanic, & moderately tall. 

Almost, almost, almost...

So for the most recent of times I have been on a constant battle against the fat in my body. I have attacked it with healthy eating, and a somewhat hatred for sugared items -coffee exempt-. When I first made the pact to lose over 15 lbs in 30 days, I had every intention of doing it, but I knew that it would be pretty tough to meet the goal. It has been 21 days since the initial weigh in and as of this morning (23rd) I am 204 pounds.

September 2nd (10am) - 215 lbs
September 10th (10am) - 212 lbs
September 23rd (10am) - 204 lbs

This is the lightest that I have been in at least 11 years; I am pretty sure that I was over 200lbs when I was 13. Last November I was able to reach 207, and as much as I tried I was never able to pass it. Now, on the other hand I have a new mole hill of 5 pounds to destroy off my body.

Weird news has befallen me whilst at the local coffee shop this morn (26th). I was questioned if I was still with the girl that they saw me in the past with. I responded with no, we broke up in June and haven’t spoken with her since. She gave me a scrunched up noseysmirk and mentioned that she was crying in her car a few days ago, and wondered if it was related. I highly doubt that it was, but it did get me thinking that it has been a whole 3 months –more like 2 though- without any contact from her. Sure there have been a few sightings here and there; she popped into primo while the gang and I were there and then she left in a hurry, and a couple of spottings in the market. Other than those there has been nothing of contact, then again I did change my phone number so maybe that has been why. But enough talk of this, lets move onto happier thoughts.

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That is how this post started on the 23rd, but work and randomness have happened and by this time the thoughts that were to follow have all but left my mind tank. Since then, I have has been back and forth about the act of writing down what has been on my mind. I have mentioned it in backhanded comments and quick questions in the middle of conversations so that people will forget faster; and since it has been on my mind so much I figured why not, let’s just dab it on the internets...

But before any of this can be written about time for a fatty weight update…

September 2nd (10am) - 215 lbs
September 10th (10am) - 212 lbs
September 23rd (10am) - 204 lbs
September 29th (10am) - 201 lbs

2 pounds away from victory, 2 pounds before I start cycling again, 2 pounds before I call myself thin.

A couple posts ago I mentioned that the act of Facebook stalking becoming a common place in my generations culture. While I didn't mention if I partook in this escapade, I confess that I do indeed; and in all seriousness it is only a few people's pages that I look at. Most of the stalking is done through the "news feed," but there will be the occasional check on the page to see if there have been any changes. But why do I do it? I am not really sure... there are moments when I do want to meet her in person and see how life is treating her, but shortly there after all of the bad memories come smacking me in the face.

Maybe it is the fact that I am not as busy as I used to be, and my mind has more time to wander around; but she has been on my mind more than I care to admit. At one point in our relationship I would get jealous; she would flirt with other guys in front of me, and that didn’t sit too well with me. I know that what I feel now is not jealousy, or a yearning of any type; I really don’t know what it is, maybe I need real closure instead of the jumblefuck that was the end of our relationship.

A few mornings ago, thinking about what to do, I remembered who she slept with and decided to ask him what actually happened that night. I don’t know why it took me 3 months to finally send him an e-mail asking what happened, but it probably has something to with all of the craziness that was happening during that time. I told him what I was told happened, and what he responded with changed things. I knew before hand that what I was being told was not the whole truth, as there were too many holes in the story, but you would think that there would have been some shred of truth in it. I sent a follow-up to him and am awaiting a reply, but I am not really expecting one.

I still don’t know what to do about seeing/talking to her, would I forgive her for what she did? At times I say yes, and at others I am unsure. The other option is to just bury this in the dark place where most of my past is, the dilemma…

I know that she looks at this blag, and can only assume that she facestalks as well; I wonder how she will react to this post.


Alrighty, coffee is just about empty and the cigarette is nearly to the filter so I will end this here. 'till next time.